


The Pub Weedies

by bestofwivesandbestofwomen



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Modern Day Chat Au, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:04:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6946792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestofwivesandbestofwomen/pseuds/bestofwivesandbestofwomen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a chat au of hamilton i am so srry i wrote this</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_**Hamilfuckyou** has added **JohnTurtle, Eyeliza, YourAngel(ica), SylvesterRevolution, Zero2Hero,** and **Problematicmyass** to the chat  **The Public Weedies**_  
  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** Welcome, Squad.  
 **JohnTurtle:** Babe what the fuck  
 **Eyeliza:** what the fuck babe?  
 **JohnTurtle:** wE'RE N'SYNC  
 **Problematicmyass:**  I started a gofundme and now strangers are paying for my bills  
 **YourAngel(ica):** WHAT  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** CAN I START A GOFUNDME??  
 **Zero2Hero:** nO LAF  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I came out to have a good time and honestly I feel great.  
 **Eyeliza:** PEGGY JFEJWDYHEKJGLFCVFREWUFWEKY  
 **Problematicmyass:** It's great.They even pay for my alcoholic needs. Now i don't have to get drunk off foreskin shots  
 **YourAngel(ica):** WHAT THE FUCK IS A FORESKIN SHOT  
 **JohnTurtle:** Remember when Hammy tried to do foreskin shots off me and choked  
 **Eyeliza:** I thought he was going to die choking on your dick  
 **HamilFuckyou:** At least i'd go out doing what i love ;)))  
 **JohnTurtle:** <3  
 **Zero2Hero:** Save your gay, i want to know what a foreskin shot is.  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** I STILL WANT TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE A GOFUNDME  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** LAFAYETTE WANTS TO SIT UNDER HIS OWN FIG TREE  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** LAFAYETTE IS COMING HOOOMMMEEE  
 **Zero2Hero:** You are home you french fuck  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** home is in ur arms mon amour  
 **YourAngel(ica):** SAVE YOUR GAY. WHAT'S A FORESKIN SHOT?  
 **Problematicmyass:** Okay so you fill a dick up with alcohol and you drink it while giving a BJ  
 **YourAngel(ica):** 1\. UR TOO YOUNG FOR SEX 2. UR TOO YOUNG FOR ALCOHOL  
 **Problematicmyass:** being old just means u'll die sooner angelicshutthefuckupaca  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** someone's bought to get hit. shit, shit, shit, shit  
 **YourAngel(ica):** YOU FUCIGN KNIWR WHAT PEGGY I WILL TEAR OUT YOUR WEAVE YOU ARIANA GRANDE LOOKING ASS BITCH  
 **YourAngel(ica):** FOCUS ON ME, F- F- FOCUS ON ME  
  
 _ **Hamilfuckyou** has removed **YourAngel(ica)** from the chat **The Public Weedies**_  
  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WHAT THE FUCK PEGGY DON'T HACK ME  
 **Problematicmyass:** don't act like u don't enjoy ppl being in u  
 **Eyeliza:** I'M WATCHING IT BURRRNNNN  
 **JohnTurtle:** Ouch. I felt that one.  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** how u say  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** what ze fuck is happening here  
 **Zero2Hero:** LET ANGELICA BACK IN  
 **Problematicmyass:** fine. hold on.  
  
 _ **Hamilfuckyou** has added **Angelicshutthefuckupaca** to the chat **The Public Weedies**_  
  
 **Angelicshutthefuckupaca:** WHAT THE FUCK WHO CHANGED MY NAME  
 **Problematicmyass:** this is what happens when u mess with margarita schuyler  
 **Angelicashutthefuckupaca:** I'M CHANGING IT  
 **YourAngel(ica):** THERE.  
 **Problematicmyass:** i own u  
 **Angelicashutthefuckupaca:** PEGGY WTF LET ME LIVE  
 **Problematicmyass:** i own all of u  
 **Zero2Hero:** not me  
 **Bitch1:** PEGGY WTF CHANGE MY NAME BACK I TAKE IT BACK YOU OWN ME  
 **Bitch2:** What ze fuck did i miss  
 **Problematicmyass:** say peggy owns u or i'll change your names to something worse  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I WILL REMOVE YOU FROM THE CHAT  
 **Problematicmyass:** fine, let's see who's faster.  
  
 _ **Hamilfuckyou** has left the chat The Public Weedies_  
  
 **Problematicmyass** : i'm usain bolt  
 **Bitch2:** who is zat  
 **Problematicmyass:** what the fuck laf you're grounded. do a report on usain bolt rn  
 **Bitch2:** pls don't hurt me  
 **IFuckBaguettes:** WHAT ZE FUCK I ASKED NICELY  
 **Problematicmyass:** eat my entire booty cheek  
 **JohnTurtle:** Peggy change their names back.  
 **Problematicmyass:** fine, it's back to normal.  
 **Zero2Hero:** Thank god  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** Raise ur hands we're in church  
  
 _ **Problematicmyass** has added **Hamilfuckyou** and **YourAngel(ica)** to the chat **The Public Weedies**_  
  
 **Ifuckturtles:** thank you pegs  
 **ifuckturtles:** WHAT THE FUCK  
 **Problematicmyass:** this is what happens when u cross me  
 **Problematicmyass:** suck my left penis john  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** u say zat like u have multiple  
 **Problematicmyass:** I do  
 **Problematicmyass:** The left one is the sharp one  
 **Eyeliza:** i'm sobbing i left for three minutes what  
 **ifuckturtles:** I'm hungry  
 **Problematicmyass:** eat my ass  
 **ifuckturtles:** I'M LEAVING  
 **Prolematicmyass:** i'll add u right back  
 **Eyeliza:** Actually, i could go for some food  
 **Problematicmyass:** sure, i'll pay  
 **Problematicmyass:** my gofundme is trending  
 **Problematicmyass:** Its called PayForPeggy  
 **Problematicmyass:** I'm rolling in dough  
 **Problematicmyass:** MAKE IT RAIN  
 **YourAngel(ica):** I hate u  
 **Problematicmyass:** fine i won't buy you lunch  
 **YourAngel(ica):** JK I LOVE YOU I'M WRITING A REPORT ON USAIN BOLT RN AND BUYING YOU CHAMPAGNE AND HIGHLIGHTER SO YOU CAN BLIND STRANGERS ON THE STREET WHEN YOU WALK BY AND I'M MAKING A HOME MADE CARD TO SHOW MY APPRECIATION  
 **Problematicmyass:** bless u  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** peggy can you buy me apple juice when we get there  
 **Zero2Hero:** LAF NO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** U DON'T OWN ME  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** PEGGY OWNS ME  
 **Problematicmyass:** I'll literally buy you the biggest glass there  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** MERCI MARGARITA  
 **ifuckturtles:** Alex, are you coming to lunch? Pegs is paying  
 **Problematicmyass:** he can only come if he eats ham and cheese  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** PEGGY WHAT THE FUCK  
 **Problematicmyass:** EITHER U EAT HAM AND CHEESE OR U STARVE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'M TOO POOR TO SAY NO  
 **ifuckturtles:** SAY NO TO THIS  
 **Problematicmyass:** john.  
 **ifuckturtles:** what  
 **Problematicmyass:** go shit in your hand  
 **YourAngel(ica):** Peggy stop ruling with an iron fist  
 **Problematicmyass:** LAURENS AND ANGELICA CAN'T COME  
 **ifuckturtles:** WHAT?  
 **Problematicmyass:** LEAVE US ALONE  
 **ifuckturtles:** MANNNN  
 **YourAngel(ica):** WHY DOES PEGGY KNOW EVERYONES PASSWORDS  
 **Problematicmyass:** 1\. you give me your passwords to find unfollowers 2. all of your passwords are roshambo  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'm sobbing accurate   
 **SylvesterRevolution:** don't cry mon amour  
 **Problematicmyass:** we going or what  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** i gotta gooo gotta be in Monticello  
 **Eyeliza:** //wrong act//  
 **Zero2Hero:** LETS SKIP THE PLEASANTRIES LET'S GO  
 **Eyeliza:** //1. THATS THE WRONG ACT. 2. YOU DON'T EVEN PLAY THAT CHARACTER//  
 **ifuckturtles:** un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit neuf  
 **Eyeliza:** I WILL LEAVE  
 **Problematicmyass:** i know u r a man of honor i'm so sorry to bother u at home  
 **Eyeliza:** I'm erasing myself from the narrative  
  
 __ **Eyeliza** has left the chat **The Public Weedies**  
  
 **YourAngel(ica)** has added **Eyeliza** to the chat **The Public Weedies**  
  
 **Problematicmyass:** elizzzaaaa  
 **Eyeliza:** i put myself back in the narrative  
 **Eyeliza:** WTF STOP HACKING ME  
 **Problematicmyass:** whatever. i'm bored with being god. save your gay and lets go i'm hangry  
 **YourAngel(ica):** I can't go I'm going to be in a meeting with GWash.  
 **ifuckturtles:** I'm crashing your party  
 **Problematicmyass:** Fine, but you have to pay for yourself.  
 **ifuckturtles:**  ok im poor but ok


	2. Vomit Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna have a lot of chapters bc i'm moving this story from a different site

**Problematicmyass:** tHIS LUNCH IS WILD ANGELICA I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MISSING THIS  
 **Problematicmyass:** Okay so as promised I bought lafayette the biggest thing of apple juice and this fucker drinks it like we're taking shots, it's wild  
 **Problematicmyass:**  and instead of actual food he and Laurens both get this ice cream thing thats HUGE  
 **Problematicmyass:** so here we are having a nice conversation when laf tHROWS UP ALL OVER MULLIGANS FUCKING NEW SHOES  
 **Problematicmyass:** and mulligan does that muffled scream thing while laf says "I need assistance"  
 **Problematicmyass:** and poor laurens, who was probably playing candy crush on his phone and eating his ice cream, and he looks over to Lafayette covered in white stuff, his vomit, and he starts asking and then what happens???  
 **Problematicmyass:** lAFAYETTE THROWS THE FUCK UP AGAIN AND POOR LAURENS THROWS UP TOO  
 **Problematicmyass:**  so the two of them are covered in vomit, and mulligan is still doing his muffled scream, and laurens and lafayette are going to have to leave SHIRTLESS.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:**  eliza and i are trying to help john  
 **Eyeliza:** We have failed.  
  
 _ **ifuckturtles** sent an image **congratsihateugoldstarmeme.jpg** to the chat **The Public Weedies**_  
  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** okay I know you're having a bad day but???? rude????  
 **ifuckturtles:** you are all the bANE OF MY EXISTENCE  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** okay...i know i made you throw up...but still don't be fucking rude???  
  
 _ **You** have entered a chat with **HLaurens**_  
  
 **HLaurens:** Jack, why is your screen name what it is?  
 **ifuckturtles:** a friend hacked me and this happened  
 **HLaurens:** Jack.  
 **HLaurens:** You are aware that you can change it back, right?  
 **ifuckturtles:** ...what  
 **ifuckturtles:** Please excuse me.  
  
 _ **You** have entered the chat _**_The Public Weedies_**  
  
 **ifuckturtles:** I COULD HAVE CHANGED MY NAME THIS WHOLE TIME  
 **ifuckturtles:** AND NONE OF YOU  
 **ifuckturtles:** NONE OF YOU TOLD ME???  
 **Problematicmyass:** whoops  
 **Johnturtle:** I HATE ALL OF YOU  
 **Eyeliza:** Even me?  
 **Johnturtle:** you have done nothing wrong ever and i love you for that.  
 **Johnturtle:** bUT THE REST OF YOU  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** Oh Laurens.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** My dear Laurens  
 **Johnturtle:** NO FUCK YOU  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** when and where  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** how u say  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** YIKS  
 **Johnturtle:** NEVER AND NOWHERE I'M ONLY FUCKING ELIZA  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** BUT JOHN  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THAT BREAKS THE CODE  
 **Eyeliza:** im not complaining.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WELL I AM  
 **Hamilfuckyou:**  THIS ISN'T FAIR  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I WILL WRITE AN ESSAY ON WHY THIS IS NOT FAIR  
 **Problematicmyass:** please not here  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<<<<<  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** this breaks the agreement we made to fuck each other either all at once or fuck each other in pairs and tell the other. Simply not fucking one person of the polyamorous relationship we have developed is a violation of our code of love and care for each other.   
 **Johnturtle:** shut the FUCK up FINE.  
 **Zero2Hero:** I feel violated  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** I feel excited  
 **Problematicmyass:** Ew no one wants to know about your sex drive  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** YOU KNOW WHAT PEGGY  
 **Problematicmyass:** WHAT MARIE  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** how u say  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** the FUCK YOU  
 **Problematicmyass:** fine  
 **gleesucks:** be that way  
 **gleesucks:** wHAT THE FUCK  
 **gleesucks:** NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T  
 **gleesucks:** im kidding lmao it really does  
 **gleesucks:** NO IT DOESN'T STOP HACKING ME  
 **Zero2Hero:** oH NO  
 **Zero2Hero:** PEGGY NO  
 **gleesucks:** IM NOT PEGGY  
 **gleesucks:** LIAR  
 **gleesucks:** IM NOT LYING  
 **gleesucks:** IM A CUTE FRENCH IMMIGRANT PLS  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** I changed it back, changed my password, and BLOCKED PEGGY.  
 **Johnturtle:** And I thought I was mad.  
 **Johnturtle:** shit did i block alex  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU BLOCKED ME?!?!?!  
 **Eyeliza:** Alex just threw his phone out of rage   
 **Johnturtle:** i wAS JOKING  
 **Eyeliza:** this is alex  
 **Eyeliza:** i broke my phone  
 **Problematicmyass:** what the fuck  
 **YourAngel(ica):** So what did I miss?  
 **Eyeliza:** //1 wrong act, 2 you don't play that character.//  
 **Problematicmyass:** I'M HOWLING I FIGURED OUT HIS PASS  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** IT'S LITERALLY 'Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que c'est fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa'  
 **YourAngel(ica):** Wait-  
 **YourAngel(ica):** can i hack laffy taffy too?  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** TBH YAS THIS WILL BE LIT AS A FUCKING CANDLE  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** I'M SCREAMING I DID IT  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** WHAT ZE FUCK WHO POSTED THIS  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** ....NO ONE..  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** yOU'RE SLEEP TALKING  
 **Zero2Hero:** can i hack laf  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** TBH??? YES  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** WHAT ZE FUCK NON  
 **Johnturtle:** TBH??? I'M SCREAMING  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** yeah bc of this dick  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** THERE. I CHANGED MY PASSWORD NONE OF YOU SPERM DUMPSTERS WILL GUESS IT  
 **Problematicmyass:** Is it 'password?'  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** FUCK  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** IT IS I KNEW IT  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I'M GOING TO PASS OUT OH MY GOD  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** let mE LIVE  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** how u say  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** non u french fuck  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** YOU JUST SAID IT WTF  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** FUCKING EXACTLY  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** GUYS  
 **Problematicmyass:** I don't like gender specific pronouns   
 **Hamilfuckyou:** *PEOPLE  
 **Problematicmyass:** ty ily  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<<<<<  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** sOMEONE HACKED MY TWITTER ACCOUNT TO PLAY 1DREAM BOY 2  
 **Zero2Hero:** WHAT  
 **Johnturtle:** i thought that was you  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** HOW THE FUCK  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** W H O THE F U C K  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** FUCK NO IT WASN'T ME  
 **YourAngel(ica):** I'M SCREAMING  
 **Eyeliza:** i mean, you've talked about wanting to play that game before it wasn't a surprise when our feed was spammed with updates on your playthrough  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WAIT THEY POSTED TO MY ACCOUNT  
 **Zero2Hero:** yeah like 100 times  
 **Problematicmyass:** They're probably going to end up with Louis  
 **YourAngel(ica):** i wanted them with Harry  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** ok but same ??  
 **Johnturtle:** same  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WHAT THE FUCK SINCE WHEN DO YOU ALL SHIP ME WITH HARRY  
 **Zero2Hero:** Well apparently that wasn't you  
 **Eyeliza:** we ship your HACKER with harry  
 **Problematicmyass:** i ship hammy with zayn bc  
 **YourAngel(ica):** I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THAT'S NOT THE POINT  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** really??? i like him with Niall  
 **Johnturtle:** OMG SAME  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** some random popsey  
 **Johnturtle:** What  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** wat  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** *person  
 **YourAngel(ica):** um  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** popped my twitter cherry  
 **Zero2Hero:** NO  
 **Johnturtle:** I'MSCREAMING  
 **Problematicmyass:** THIS IS WHAT YOU AND ELIZA ARE DATING  
 **Eyeliza:** gOD WHYYYY  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THEY WERE INSIDE ME  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** STOP THIS  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'M VIOLATED.  
 **Johnturtle:** I'M DISGUSTED.  
 **Problematicmyass:** YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT I'M SCREAMING  
 **Eyeliza:** oh my god  
 **Eyeliza:** OH MY GOD OH MY GOD O H MY G O D  
 **YourAngel(ica):** u ok fam  
 **Eyeliza:** I FOUND OUT WHO HACKED ALEX'S ACCOUNT  
 **Zero2Hero:** IT WAS PEGGY WASN'T IT  
 **Problematicmyass:** WTF WHY IS IT AUTOMATICALLY ME  
 **Problematicmyass:** thats what u get for accusing me of hacking people  
 **Horsethreesome:** YOU JUST PROVED MY POINT FOR ME  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WHO THE FUCK WAS IT  
 **Johnturtle:** my life just flashed before my eyes oh god  
 **Eyeliza:** IT WAS JEFFERSON  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** what  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** i'LL STAB THE MAn


	3. i want a refund

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for this omfg

**Hamilfuckyou:** GUYS  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JOHN BROKE UP WITH ME  
 **YourAngel(ica):** Why?  
 **Zero2Hero:** WHAT  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** MY WORLD IS FALLINg APART  
 **Hamilfuckyou** : i  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** DON'T  
 **Problematicmyass:** ok  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** KNOW  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WAIT  
 **YourAngel(ica):** Hes been typing for fifteen minutes  
 **Eyeliza:** john has been screaming for 10 minutes straight.  
 **johnturtle:** IM!!! SO!!! MAD!!!!  
 **Zero2Hero:** yEAH OKAY BUT WHY  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I WAS PUTTING ON MELANIE MARTINEZ MAKEUP RIGHT? AND I LOOKED BOMB ASF AND MY EYEBROWS WERE BLUE AND SOMEONE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND I HAD TO ANSWER AND I LOOK GREAT BUT I KNOW THAT WHOEVER SAW ME WOULD BE SCARED SO I OPENED UP THIS DRAW AND THERE WERE ALL THESE PAPERS SO I TOOK SOME AND STARTED WIPING MY MAKEUP OFF  
 **Problematicmyass:** why were dressing as melanie martinez  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THE  
 **Zero2Hero:** Why do you have makeup  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** PAPER  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** why does alexander have anything ever  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WAS SCRATCHY  
 **Eyeliza:** you mean drawer?  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THATS  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** NOT  
 **Zero2Hero:** so many questions  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** POINT  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** Can you dress me up as Melanie Martinez too?  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** NO  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** anyways  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JOHN LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM AND WON'T TALK TO ME  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** now why are you upset?  
 **johnturtle:** eliza, please explain to alexander hamilton that those were my grandfather's receipts and that i hate him for using them incorrectly.  
 **Eyeliza:** ^^^  
 **YourAngel(ica):** this is a mess  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WTF YOU BROK UP WITH ME OVER RECEIPTS  
 **Problematicmyass:** Alexander you wiped his culture with mac lipstick  
 **johnturtle:** THANK YOU  
 **Problematicmyass:** you're welcome fam  
 **Receiptfucker:** NOW ALEXANDER  
 **Receiptfucker:** WHAT THE FUCK PEGGY  
 **Johnturtle:** GET OUT OF MY ACCOUNT  
 **Problematicmyass:** fine.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE OF YOUR RECIEPTS.  
 **Johnturtle:** YOU KNOW REFUNDS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN APART OF ME  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** aren't you rich  
 **Johnturtle:** only because i haven't spent more than 1,000 dollars a year.  
 **Zero2Hero:** HOW MUCH DO YOU SAVE A YEAR  
 **Johnturtle:** About 3 million  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WHAT THE FUCK  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU  
 **Problematicmyass:** THIS IS SO FUNNEGR  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU HAVE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** 3 MILLION DOLLARS IN THE BANK  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** AND YOU  
 **YourAngel(ica):** oh god  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU BROKE UP WITH ME OVER A RECEIPT????  
 **Johnturtle:** was the whole "im breaking up with you" not clear when i said it.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<<  
  
 **Johnturtle** has left the chat **The Pubic Weedies**  
  
 **Problematicmyass:** does this mean john is no longer apart of our squad  
 **Zero2Hero:** are our parents now divorced  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** WE SHOULD CHANGE THE CHAT NAME  
 **Eyeliza:** WHY DON'T I JUST ADD HIM BACK  
  
 **SylvesterRevolution** has changed the chat name to **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** nOOOOOOooOOOoooOOoOOOOOoooooOOOO  
  
 **Eyeliza** has added **Johnturtle** to **The pubic Weedies - John**  
  
 **Eyeliza:** HAMILTON. LAURENS. FIX THIS.  
 **Johnturtle:** i have nothing to say alexander.  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** ^ he dropped his bagget of illuminati  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** BAG  
 **Problematicmyass:** bagget  
 **Eyeliza:** THIS IS A MESS  
 **YourAngel(ica):** i'd say.  
 **Johnturtle:** i'm going to go yell at someone to give me a refund byeee  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** ELIZA WE SHOULD GO ON STRIKE  
 **Eyeliza:** what  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WE SHOULD BREAK UP WITH JOHN TIL HE FORGIVES ME  
 **Zero2Hero:** the world will end sTOP  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** THE WORLD IS ACTUALLY ENDING  
 **Problematicmyass:** DONT DO IT  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<  
 **Problematicmyass:** THATS YOUR ONLY COMEBACK  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<< thats all you do  
 **Eyeliza:** CHANGE YOUR NAME BACK PEGS THIS IS CONFUSING  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<<  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<<<<<<  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** BUT YEAH MARG CHANGE IT BACK THATS MY COMEBACK  
 **Problematicmyass:** if i wanted your comeback i would have wiped it off johns chin  
 **Problematicmyass:** oh wait  
 **Problematicmyass:** i wouldn't of bc john hates you  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** FUCK  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU  
 **Eyeliza:** why  
 **HAMILFUCKYOU:** PEGGY  
 **Prblematicmyass:** do u really want to cross me.  
 **YourAngel(ica):** SAY NO  
 **Zero2Hero:** nO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** NO  
 **YourAngel(ica):** SAY NO TO THIS  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<< @ peggy  
 **IHamilfuckedmyself:** real mature  
 **Problematicmyass:** i will never be satisfied  
 **YourAngel(ica):** um excuse me  
 **Ihamilfuckedmyselftoo:** I MEANT EXCUSE ME IN A GOOD WAY-  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** the eND OF THE WORLD.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JOHN  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JOHN  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** PLEASE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JOHN  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I  
 **Johnturtle:** what  
 **Hamilfuckyou;** NEED YOU BACK  
 **Problematicmyass:** you're hamilfucked  
 **Problematicmyass:** OOO THATS A GOOD ONE ACTUALLY  
 **Hamilfucked:** STOP IT!!!  
 **Johnturtle:** He is never going to get Hamilfucked by me again.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JOHN PLEASE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** IF YOU KEEP IGNORING ME I'LL PEE ON THE REST OF YOUR RECEIPTS  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PEE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** but whatever  
 **Johnturtle:** i will never talk to you again ever if that happens  
 **Problematicmyass:** GET HAMILFUCKED  
 **GetHamilfucked:** STOPPPP  
 **Problematicmyass:** DOES THIS MEAN THEY'RE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER EVER  
 **Zero2Hero:** laf is in the corner of the room crying  
 **Eyeliza:** ham started playing lemonade oh god  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** UH THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING  
 **YourAngel(ica):** oh no  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU KNOW I GIVE YOU LIFE  
 **Problematicmyass:** you give us nothing  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** IF YOU TRY THIS SHIT AGAIN  
 **Zero2Hero:** PLEASE STOP THIS  
 **Johnturtle:** ok but like you're the one who fucked up  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU GON LOSE YOUR WIFE  
 **Zero2Hero:** MESS  
 **Zero2Hero:** THATS WHAT YOU ARE.  
 **Zero2Hero:** YOU A MESS  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** HOLD UP THEY DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** SLOW DOWN THEY DONT LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU  
 **Problematicmyass:** YOU PROBLEMATIC BITCH  
 **Problematicmyass:** YOU'RE RUINING CHRISTMAS  
 **Eyeliza:** its may  
 **Problematicmyass:** ....  
 **Problematicmyass:** YOU'RE RUINING MOTHERS DAY  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'M AN ORPHAN  
 **Johnturtle:** y'all'd've need to learn some manners  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** did you just.  
 **Zero2Hero:** Did you really just  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** use "y'all'd've" unironically?  
 **Problematicmyass:** wow you really ARE southern.  
 **Johnturtle:** it's a contraction of "you-all-would-have done."  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** it's a triple contraction and its disgusting.  
 **Problematicmyass:** YOU'RE disgusting  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** is alexander still dressed as melanie martinez  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YES  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JOHN PLEASE FORGIVE ME LEMONADE FINISHED AND NOW I FEEL EMO  
 **Johnturtle:** fine but you have to come with me to target and walmart to get my refunds for three months.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU ARE BANNED FROM ALL THE TARGETS AND WALMARTS IN THE CITY  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WE LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS  
 **Johnturtle:** ok i guess im not taking you back.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WAIT NO  
 **Problematicmyass:** oh jesus  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'LL DO IT I'LL DO IT  
 **Hamilfuckingwhipped:** I'M SORRY  
 **Hamilfuckingwhipped:** pEGGY  
 **Problematicmyass:** i didn't do that  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** then WHO  
  
 **YourAngel(ica)** has added **macandjefferson** to the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
 **macandjefferson:** you suck at remaking passwords.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** YOU FUCKER  
 **macandjefferson:** shut up hamilfucker  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WHY WOULD YOU HACK MY ACCOUNT TO PLAY A 1 DIRECTION GAME  
 **macandjefferson:** because its funny  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<<  
 **macandjefferson:** it didn't send do that again  
 **Jeffersonisbetterthanme:** <<<  
 **Jeffersonisbetterthanme:** WHAT THE FUCK  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** LIES  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** SLANDER  
 **Hamilfuckyou** : BLASPHEMY  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT  
 **Problematicmyass:** SOMEONE GET ME POPCORN  
 **Eyeliza:** this won't end well.  
 **macandjefferson:** john why would you get back together with him  
 **macandjefferson:** you were FREE  
 **Johnturtle:** i want a refund on jefferfuckboy.  
 **Problematicmyass:** OOOO  
 **Problematicmyass:** i can't hack jefferson what the fuck  
 **Schuylerslut:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK FUCK YOU JEFFERSON FUCK YOU FUCK YOU  
 **macandjefferson:** when and where  
 **YourAngel(ica):** OH NOOOOOoooOooOOoooOOOO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** THIS IS BAAAADDDD  
 **Zero2Hero:** JEFFERSON IS GOING TO DIE SOON OH NOOooOo  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** thats actually GOOD news  
 **Schuylerslut:** I'M GOING TO KEEP THE USERNAME TO KEEP ME BITTER  
 **macandjefferson:** aren't you bitter enough why don't you add some sweet n low  
 **macandjefferson:** its fake  
 **macandjefferson:** like you  
 **YourAngel(ica):** OOOOOOOHOHOOHOHOOHHOHOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
 **Schuylerslut:** DO YOU WANT TO F I G H T ME???  
 **Schuylerslut:** BOIIIII I WILL TAKE YOU TO FUCKING HELL AND BACK  
 **macandjefferson:** you want to say that to my face?  
 **Schuylerslut:** HELL YEAH GET ON SKYPE BITCH  
 **YourAngel(ica):** OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** can i be present for this call but at the same time be jn a bomb shelter bc-  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** PEGGY CAN I HELP YOU TAKE DOWN JEFFERFUCKBOY  
 **Schuylerslut:** HELL FUCKING YEAH UNLESS HE'S TO SCARED OF BEING BASHED.  
  
 **macandjefferson** has left the group **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
  
 **Schuylerslut** has added **macandjefferson** to the group **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
  
 **Schuylerslut:** WHATS YOUR SKYPE USERNAME HOE  
 **macandjefferson:** it's: go fuck yourself with your boyfriends non existent dick  
 **Schuylerslut:** OH  
 **Schuylerslut:** HELL  
 **Schuylerslut:** NO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** i was too scared to reply until peggy was finished  
 **Zero2Hero:** same  
 **Eyeliza:** same  
 **YourAngel(ica):** same  
 **Schuylerslut:** YOU LOOK LIKE A CHICKEN AND YOU A C T LIKE ONE  
 **macandjefferson:** im very good looking.  
 **Schuylerslut:** BUCK BUCK BUCK  
 **macandjefferson:** stfu i've been fabulous since when you were ugly  
 **Schuylerslut:** OH HELL NO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** i'm in the corner begging god for mercy  
 **Schuylerslut:** I GUESS YOU WERE NEVER FABULOUS THEN. NOW GIVE ME YOUR SKYPE  
 **macandjefferson:** i'm gonna change it hold on  
 **macandjefferson:** its: peggylookslikearianagrandefellinapileofshit  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** iT ACTUALLY IS GET IN THE BOMB SHELTER  
 **Zero2Hero:** GET IN A BATHTUB AND STAY AWAY FROM THE SCHOOL WINDOWS  
 **Eyeliza:** HIDE UNDER YOUR DESKS  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WORLD WAR TWO IS ABOUT TO ERUPT  
 **Eyeliza:** you mean three??  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I REALLY DIDN'T  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THIS WILL MAKE WORLD WAR 1 AND 2 BE IRRELEVANT  
 **macandjefferson:** yeah like peggy


	4. world war ||

_**Schuylerslut** has added **washyaself, dolleygirl, MsReynoldsWrap, HLaurens, maddhatter, theGEORGinalG, generaleeeee, adamsaministraighthon, youjustgotburred, John Stamos, heyitsjayjay, MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA, theoloca, amazingphillip, letsbefranklin, gotemtrumbulling, abbybby, knoxinaturdoor,** and **makeconway** to the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 **YourAngel(ica):** oh jesus  
 **Schuylerslut:** JOHN  
 **Johnturtle:** YES  
 **adamsaministraighthon:** yeah  
 **heyitsjayjay:** YEE  
 **Schuylerslut:** NOT YOU  
 **gotemtrumbulling:**???  
 **Schuylerslut:** YES, YOU  
 **gotemtrumbulling:** hello?  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** PEGGY ADDED THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF NEW YORK I'M WHEEZING  
 **maddhatter:** thomas is putting on his purple slay master tshirt oh lord what happened  
 **Schuylerslut:** TRUMBULL, I WANT YOU TO DRAW ME AND JEFFERFUCKBOYS FIGHT  
 **amazingphillip:** PEGGY ITS 2AM, GO TO BEd  
 **adamsaministraighthon:** YEAH PEGGY I TUCKED YOU IN AN HOUR AGO  
 **macandjefferson:** you still get tucked in  
 **Schuylerslut:** S.T.F.U.  
 **amazingphillip:** MARGARITA SCHUYLER  
 **Schuylerslut:** I'LL GO TO BED AFTER I ROAST TJEFF  
 **Schuylerslut:** HAMILTON  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** yES  
 **Schuylerslut:** GET ON SKYPE RN I WANT YOU TO DOCUMENT THIS  
 **Youjustgotburred:** why am i even here  
 **MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA:** is john stamos legitimately in our chat  
 **washyaself:** WHAT  
 **MsReynoldsWrap:** w h a t  
 **MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA:** look at the attendants  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** HOLY COCK  
 **John Stamos:** Hello?  
 **Schuylerslut:** UH, HI  
 **YourAngel(ica):** PEGGY WTF  
 **John Stamos:** peggy, as in schuyler?  
 **Schuylerslut:** Hi  
 **theGEORGinalG:** OH MY GOD  
 **theGEORGinalG:** I LOVE YOUR WORk  
 **John Stamos:** Thank you  
 **Schuylerslut:** ANYWAY  
 **Eyeliza:** PEGGY WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH JOHN STAMOS ON TWITTER  
 **Schuyleslut:** I MADE A FUNNY TWEET ABOUT REWATCHING FULLHOUSE AND HE FOLLOWED ME BACK I WAS JUST TRYING TO ADD JTURTLE BUT THERES SO MANY GODDAMN JOHNS HE GOT ADDED BY MISTAKE OK  
  
 **Schuylerslut** has removed **John Stamos** from the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
  
 **Dolleygirl:** PEGGY JUST KICKED OUT JOHN STAMOS SIUHSIAHSDUSBGDU  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** THATS NOT FAIR LET UNCLE JESSE BACK IN  
 **Schuylerslut:** JEFFERSON IS CALLING ME I'M GOING TO ADD HAM AND TRUMBULL  
 **JohnTurtle:** I WISH I COULD BE THERE FUCK  
 **Eyeliza:** we live with alexander we can just snoop over his shoulder.  
 **Schuylerslut:** JUST MUTE YOUR MIC  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'LL SPAM THE GROUP WITH EVERYTHING THEYRE SAYING  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** Peggy: Thats your real voice? no wonder you're such limpdick.  
Jefferson: its better than yours.  
Peggy: It sounds like you're being fucked up the ass with icy hot as lube  
 **MsReynoldsWrap:** OAISHIDIFUWHAHBDS  
 **maddhatter:** jeff is so made he ripped out his headphones  
 **Schuylerslut:** GET REKT  
 **amazingphillip:** lOOK AT MY DAUGHTTEERRR  
 **amazingphillip:** PRIDE IS NOT THE WORD I'M LOOKING FOR  
 **amazingphillip:** THERES SO MUCH MORE  
 **YourAngel(ica):** what about me.  
 **Eyeliza:** yeah what about us?  
 **amazingphillip:** ..eh  
 **MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA:** HAM WHATS HAPPENING DON'T LEAVE US DEPRIVED  
 **dolleygirl:** YEAH  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JOHN ADAMS CAME IN AND YELLED AT PEGGY AND JEFFERSON WAS LIKE "someone's getting bitched at" N PEGGY YELLED BACK AS JOHN TRIED TO TAKE HER COMPUTER "yeah i'm getting bitched at yOU'RE TALKING"  
 **Zero2Hero:** EHFUBUWIBAS  
 **theGEORGinalG:** I JUST THREW MY CROWN ACROSS THE ROOMW HAT THE FUk  
 **washyaself:** GET 'EM PEGGY  
 **theGEORGinalG:** George Washington??  
 **washyaself:** George William Frederick??  
 **theGEORGinalG:** i go by george the third, its less intimidating  
 **YourAngel(ica):** 'less'  
 **MsReynoldsWrap:** IS PEGGY STILL ALIVE  
 **gotemtrumbulling:** sHE THREW A PILLOW AT JOHN SCREAMED "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE" JUMPED OVER HER BED SPRINTED TO THE BATHROOM AND LOCKED HERSELF IN AND THATS WHERE SHE IS RN  
 **MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA:** SAME PEGGY  
 **Schuylerslut:** ANYWAY BACK TO JEFFERSLUT  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THE CALL DROPPED MID WAY THROUGH PEGGY PULLING OUT SCISSORS AND THREATENING TO CUT THOMAS' WEAVE  
 **Dolleygirl:** I-  
 **Johnturtle:** I'M. DYING.  
 **abbybby:** I WAS AT FIRST OFFENDED I'M IN A CHAT WITH MY EX BUT THIS IS WORTH IT  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** THEY GOT THE CALL BACK AND JEFFERSON ASKED WHY PEGGY WAS IN THE BATHROOM AND SHE TOLD HIM THATS WHERE HE BELONGS BC HES A PIECE OF SHIT  
 **washyaself:** i-  
 **Eyeliza:** lORD  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** PEGGY JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW FIFTEEN FEET WHILE HOLDING HER LAPTOP AND SHE RAN TO THE STABLES IN THE BACKYARD AND SAID SHE FOUND JEFFERSON'S LOOK ALIKE AND POINTED THE CAMERA TO HORSE SHIT  
 **Zero2Hero:** YOU HAVE HORSES  
 **amazingphillip:** ....no  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS AND HORSES  
 **Zero2Hero:** Of course its hard to have intercourse over four sets of corsets...  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** WOW.  
 **JohnTurtle:** NO MORE SEX  
 **amazingphillip:** DO YOU GUYS REHEARSE THIS  
 **MsReynoldswrap:** SPIT A VERSE BURR  
  
 **YouJustGotBurred** has left the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** you are the worst, burr.  
 **Zero2Hero:** LAF JUST THREW HIS PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM IN FRUSTRATION  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** i cRACKED THE SCREEN I REGRET EVERYTHINg  
 **Schuylerslut:** Jefferson cracked my computer screen  
 **Schuylerslut:** dell don't like ugly, honey  
 **macandjefferson:** then why'd they sell you a computer  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** PEGGY JUST STARTED SCREAMIN  
 **theGEORGinalG:** HOLY SHIT I CAN HEAR IT FROM HERE  
 **Schuylerslut:** NO SHIT YOU CAN YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR  
 **gotemtrumbulling:** JOHN FOUND PEGGY AGAIN AND THEYRE PLAYING TUG OF WAR OVER THE LAPTOP  
 **adamsaministraighthon:** PEGGY! LET!! GO!!  
 **Schuylerslut:** dADS  
 **amazingphillip:** YES?  
 **adamsaministraighthon:** YES?  
 **Schuylerslut:** LET ME FINISH ROASTING JEFFERSON  
 **macandjefferson:** roasted? you haven't even microwaved me  
 **Schuylerslut:** I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO REPLY BC PARENTAL UNIT 1 AND 3 ARE HERE  
 **macandjefferson:** you're not going to reply bc you're a little bitch  
 **MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA:** MARGRET.  
 **Schuylerslut:** YES?  
 **MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA:** DESTROY HIM.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** PEGGY JUST LET OUT A WAR CRY AND STARTED STABBING THE SCREEN WITH HER POCKET KNIFE WHILE SCREAMING A STRING OF INSULTS  
 **dolleygirl:** SHES SCREAMING? ISN'T IT LIKE 4AM  
 **theGEORGinalG:** YES  
 **amazingphillip:** YES  
 **adamsaministraighthon:** what do the neighbors think  
 **theGEORGinalG:** i think this is lit.  
 **washyaself:** ^^^  
 **YourAngel(ica):** where's johns dad?  
 **Johnturtle:** IDK MAYBE ASLEEP LIKE nORMAL PEOPLE  
 **Eyeliza:** john...you're awake  
 **Johnturtle:** SHIT  
 **MsReynoldsWrap:** EXPOSED.  
 **letsbefranklin:** can you add me to the chat so i can roast tjeff?  
 **Schuylerslut:** I-  
 **Schuylerslut:** YES.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** BEN STARTED THE CONVERSATION OFF WITH "now listen here, you motherfuckstick" iygsugsaJSIUgusgudbc  
 **dolleygirl:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
 **knoxingaturdoor:** FUCK ME UP  
  
 **letsbefranklin** has added **cornwallieeeee** to the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
  
 **cornwallieeeee:** why am i here  
 **letsbefranklin:** i'm roasting jefferson  
 **cornwallieeeee:** like you roast weed  
 **YourAngel(ica):** oh god  
 **letsbefranklin:** yas bitch yas  
 **cornwallieeeee:** can i roast jefferson  
 **letsbefranklin:** sure  
 **MsReynoldsWrap:** CAN I JOIN?  
 **cornwallieeeee:** can you close your legs  
 **MsReynoldWrap:** Can you close your mouth? lmao at least i get some. worry about your sex life, get one  
 **YourAngel(ica):** WTF THAT IS BEAUTIFUL ??  
 **YourAngel(ica):** FUCK ME UP QUEEN  
 **dolleygirl:** BABY YASSSSSS  
 **macandjefferson:** i took a break from slaying everyone to congratulate maria  
 **MsReynoldsWrap:** thank you, i love you all  
 **cornwallieeeee:** no shit, you've fucked everyone  
 **MsReynoldWrap:** uhm, interested?  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** NO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** HELL NO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** WHO LET THIS TRAsh  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** INTO MY HOME  
 **cornwallieeeee:** AHHHH MARIE  
 **cornwallieeeee:** how r u  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** about to fuck up a whore.  
 **cornwallieeeee:** i don't want to know about you and hercules' sex life  
 **Zero2Hero:** LAFF'S EYES JUST GOT FIVE SHADES DARKER HOLY SHTi  
 **macandjefferson:** i'm an asshole, don't get me wrong. but even i'm not bad.  
 **Eyeliza:** wtf cornwalis stop being satan  
 **knoxinaturdoor:** DON'T DEMOTE SATAN TO SUCH LOWS  
 **cornwallieeeee:** lmaooooo whatevver jeffersuckadick we all know you're an asshole  
 **cornwallieeeee:** we also know you fuck them  
 **cornwallieeeee:** why is she fighting him again? what did i miss? why are the gays at war is there a sale at the fruit section of walmart  
 **Schuylerslut:** exfuckingcuse me  
 **Schuylerslut:** roast us all you want, use the right pronouns  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** AND USE THE CORRECT GRAMMAR I'M FUCKING CRINGING  
 **cornwallieeeee:** ^^^ me after reading hamiltons last essay  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** do you want to  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING FIGHT ME?????  
 **cornwallieeeee:** i don't hit women.  
 **theGEORGinalG:** i'll just...show myself out  
 **macandjefferson:** alright, i hung up the skype call so Cornwallis has all my utter attention  
 **macandjefferson:** ^^ somebody thinks hes finally relevant lmao  
 **macandjefferson:** i fuck assholes? ahahaaaaaahhh  
 **macandjefferson:** at least i have an ass  
 **macandjefferson:** lookin' like someone done spanked you with a flat iron  
 **macandjefferson:** Youngest Schuyler Sibling has stated many times to you that they are genderfluid  
 **macandjefferson:** i have personally heard you refer to them by the correct list of pronouns  
 **macandjefferson:** having stated that, i know you only referred to them as the female pronoun out of spite and as an attempt to put them in their place  
 **macandjefferson:** failed attempt as i might add. All you've done is prove to everyone that you don't know how to handle yourself around the human population because no one has ever wanted to be your friend. I can see why. Speaking of places, since you act like a four year old bitch go stand in the corner like one and think about what you've done.  
 **macandjefferson:** ^^ this hamilfucker is how you end an essay, take notes.  
 **macandjefferson:** ravior, salope!     
  
 _ **macandjefferson** has removed **cornwallieeeee** from the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 **Schuylerslut:** wow...that was actually really sweet  
 **Schuylerslut:** no one has ever stuck up for me like that before  
 **Schuylerslut:** thank you??  
 **macandjefferson:** uhuh, don't mention it  
  
 _You have entered the chat **Schuylersluts**_  
  
 **Schuylerslut:** GUYS  
 **YourAngel(ica):** peggy-  
 **YourAngel(ica):** the name-  
 **YourAngel(ica):** why  
 **Schuylerslut:** JEFFERSON IS SO MANLY WTF  
 **YourAngel(ica):** UM SINCE WHEN  
 **YourAngel(ica):** HE WEARS PURPLE JUMPSUITS  
 **YourAngel(ica):** IN PUBLIC  
 **Eyeliza:** i'd handle this but hamilton accidentally threw his pencil out the window and is trying to dive after it  
 **Problematicmyass:** IDK WHAT HE DID WAS SWEET  
 **YourAngel(ica):** pegggyyy-  
 **Eyeliza:** why did you change your name-  
 **Problematicmyass:** idk some things you need to let go  
 **YourAngel(ica):** the sweet caress of twilight  
 **YourAngel(ica):** there's magic everywhere  
 **YourAngel(ica):** and with all this romantic atmosphere  
 **YourAngel(ica):** diIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEERRRRRSSSS IN THE AIR  
 **Eyeliza:** cannnnnnnn you feeeeeeeellll the loveee tonighttt theee peaceee the evennninggg bringgggsss  
 **Problematicmyass:** what.  
 **YourAngel(ica):** do you like himmmm?????  
 **Problematicmyass:** bAHHAHAHAHAHAHA  
 **Problematicmyass:** LIKE WHAT DOES LIKE MEAN  
 **Problematicmyass:** LIKE ON FACEBOOK IDKKKKKKK ANGELICA NO ONE USES THAT ANYMORE PFT  
 **YourAngel(ica):** OHMYGOD YOU DOOOOOOOOOO  
 **Problematicmyass:** NO I LITERALLY STAYED UP TIL 4:30AM TO ROAST HIM ON SKYPE  
 **Eyeliza:** you stayed up til 4:30am talking to him.....  
  
 _ **Chat** has been deleted_


	5. Cornwallis 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thomas actually isn't the biggest asshole around, surprise

**YourAngel(ica):** LAFFY TAFFY  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** oui  
 **YourAngel(ica):** CAN YOU REMOVE EVERYONE WHO ISN'T IN OUR REGULAR SQUAD  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** sigh one moment  
  
 _ **Sylvester Revolution** has removed **washyaself, dolleygirl, MsReynoldsWrap, HLaurens, maddhatter, theGEORGinalG, generaleeeee, adamsaministraighthon, heyitsjayjay, MARTHAMARTHAMARTHA, theoloca, amazingphillip, letsbefranklin, gotemtrumbulling, abbybby, knoxinaturdoor,** and **makeconway** from the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** It has been done.  
 **Johnturtle:** finally things can be normal again  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** yOITYUYTUGUYSIJUSTTUTRBEDKJNMYPAPERANDFUCKI9MGEDEADI'SUDFUYHAFGUCKGIHNRE I'LLKILLTYouyALLLLLLLL  
 **Johnturtle:** spoke too soon  
 **Eyeliza** **:** English, Alexander?  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I TURNED IN THE ESSAY I'VE BEEN WORKING ON ABOUT UNDERAGE DRUNKING AND FUCKIGn SOEmnoneHACKED INTO MY LAPTOP AND CHANGED ALL THE TIMES I SAID THE WORD ALCOHOL INTO ASSHOLE  
 **Zero2Hero:** pls send me a copy  
 **YourAngel(ica):** how does that even look now  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** the youth are drinking assholes younger and younger these days and illegally  
 **Eyeliza** **:** CRYING  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'M DEAD  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'M DONE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I'VE BEEN STRUCK BETWEEN THE RIPS  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** WHO DID THIS  
 **macandjefferson** **:** guilty  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** you came into my own house and disrespected me in front of my children while dEFACING MY WRITINGS AND ARTWORK I SHOULD HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR BEING SUCH A DICK WHILE HAVING A SMALL ONE  
 **macandjefferson** **:** at least i have a dick  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** <<<< I AM LIKE 35 INCHES  
 **macandjefferson:** yeah, tall  
 **YourAngel(** **ica** **):** GUYS WE JUST HAD WORLD WAR TWO CAN WE NOT  
 **Eyeliza** **:** yeah, please  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** if you swallow a dick under water are you drowning or choking  
 **Zero2Hero:** you're an idiot  
 **Eyeliza** **:** ^^^^^^  
 **YourAngel(** **ica** **):** ^^^  
 **Problematicmyass:** GUYYSSSSSSSS  
 **Problematicmyass:** I'M FUCKING IN LOVE  
 **YourAngel(** **ica** **):** called it tbh  
 **Problematicmyass:** I SCROLLED THROUGH HIS INSTRAGRAM FEED AND FUCKING HELL HIS THEME IS SO PERFECT  
 **Problematicmyass:** I'D PULL THE FUCK OUT OF HIS HAIR ITS SO PERFECT SMOTHER ME IN YOUR GLORY SINJFENHFGORYOGABBAGABBA  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** OMG PEGS THATS SO CUTE WHO IS IT  
 **Problematicmyass:**.....now don't laugh  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** who  
 **Problematicmyass:** you used to work on the same staff  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** NO.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** NONONOONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NOOOOOOO NA NA NOOO NOOOOO NA NA NA NOOOO NONOONONOONONONONOONONO  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** if you say what i think you're going to say we're all doomed  
 **Problematicmyass:** WTF FIGHT ME JEFFERSON IS DADDY ASF  
 **Eyeliza:** nO PEGGY NONONONONONONON WAIT!!!  
 **macandjefferson:** is that so?  
 **YourAngel(ica):** aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH  
  
 _ **Problematicmyass** has left the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 _You have entered the chat **SchuylerSluts(Reprised)**_  
  
 **Problematicmyass:** JEFFERSON IS STILL FUCKING INB TGHE CHAT FASHIT  
 **YourAngel(ica):** HE POSTED LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO I THOUGHT YOU KNEW  
 **Eyeliza:** I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU MARGE  
 **Problematicmyass:** NO NBOONONONONONONO I'M DED I'M CRYIGN I NO LONGER HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE  
Eyeliza: PEGGY YOU HAVE TO COMFRONT HIM  
 **Problematicmyass:** FUCK THAT HE WOULDN'T LIKE ME BACK  
 **YourAngel(ica):** WHY WOULDN'T HE? YOU'RE AMAZING  
 **Problematicmyass:** NO I'M NOT. I'M STUPID, MY PONY TAIL IS STUPID, MY HIGHLIGHTER IS TOO DULL, YELLOW MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A FAT LEMON, MY EARRINGS ARE STUPID  
 **Problematicmyass:** STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID FUCK  
 **Eyeliza:** Peggy. Take that back this instant!  
 **Eyeliza** **:** You are beautiful, inteligent, elegant, any man or woman would be lucky to have you and a fool to pass you by  
 **Eyeliza** **:** You are my daily inspiration and a source of love and laughter  
 **Eyeliza** **:** You are far too beautiful for me to describe actually  
 **Eyeliza** **:** And anthiny less is an insult  
 **Problematicmyass:** aaaaawwwwwwwwwwww thanks betsy  
 **Eyeliza** **:** anytime girl scout! ;D  
 **YourAngel(** **ica** **):** we used to be fuckbuddies  
  
 _ **Chat** has been deleted_  
  
 _ **You** have entered the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 **Eyeliza:** ANGIE  
 **YourAngel(ica):** KJHYGUGHAIAGDUAYDINH  
 **Eyeliza:** YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT OHMYGOD  
 **Zero2Hero:** WHAT  
 **Eyeliza:** PEGGY IS REALLY UPSET AND WHEN I FINALLY BEGAN TO CHEER HER UP ANGELICA'S DUMBASS GOES "ME AND THOMAS USED TO FUCK"  
 **YourAngel(Ica):** NO I FUCKING DIDN'T  
 **Eyeliza:** YES YOU DID  
 **YourAngel(ica):** NO, I SAID "WE USED TO BE FUCKBUDDIES"  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** tHATS WORSE  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** SEE, THOMAS FUCKS EVERYTHING UP  
 **macandjefferson:** i literally have done nothing in this situation except live  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** EXACTLY, GO DIE  
 **Eyeliza:** ALEXANDER HAMILTON.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** BUT  
 **Eyeliza:** WE HAVE MORE PRESSING MATTERS  
 **Johnturtle:** peggy just messaged me saying she wants to jump into a volcano  
 **Eyeliza:** SHIT  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JEFFERSON  
 **Eyeliza:** what. did. i. say.  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** NO, ITS NICE THIS TIME  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** JEFFERSON  
 **macandjefferson:** what  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** go talk to peggy in private rn  
 **Johnturtle: peggy just asked to be let back in so theres no need hold up** peggy just asked to be let back in so theres no need for farther action hold up  
  
 _ **Johnturtle** has added **Problematicmyass** to **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 **Problematicmyass:** hey guys  
 **Zero2Hero:** WHAT HAPPENED  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** MON AMOUR  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO HATE YOU BUT STILL PEGGY WTF  
 **YourAngel(ica):** I'M SORry  
 **Problematicmyass:** omg guys its fine it was stupid for me to react like that anyway  
 **Problematicmyass:** and besides i'm happy now  
 **Johnturtle:** aw, did you and thomas talk?  
 **Problematicmyass:** uh, no.  
 **Problematicmyass:** burr saw all my twitter posts about being in love and thought i was talking about him so he asked me out and i said yes  
 **macandjefferson:** WHAT  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND INTO THE FUCKIG FIRE I SWEAR TO GOD  
  
 _ **You** have under the chat **Cat and Turtle**_  
  
 **Johnturtle:** WHY DID YOU SAY "WHAT" LIKE THAT  
 **Johnturtle:** THATS ONE OF THE ONLY TIMES I'VE EVER SEEN YOU USE CAPS LOCK  
 **Johnturtle:** I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE PEGGY  
 **macandjefferson:** I DON'T  
 **macandjefferson:** i'm pretty sure i don't  
 **macandjefferson:** BUT STILL  
 **macandjefferson:** burr????  
 **macandjefferson:** i lost a girl to  
 **macandjefferson:** burr???  
 **macandjefferson:** thats a giant bag of oh hell no  
 **Johnturtle:** SO YOU DO LIKE HER!!!!1  
 **macandjefferson:** LITERALLY NEVER SAID THAT  
  
 _ **You** have entered the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 _ **Johnturtle** has added **youjustgotburred** to the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
_  
 **Johnturtle:** EXPLAIN.  
 **youjustgotburred:** shes pretty  
 **macandjefferson:** wrong fucking pronoun you filthy wad of cum covered napkins  
Zero2Hero: I'M-  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** they're*  
 **youjustgotburred:** 'they're' a girl?? why would i call them differently  
 **macandjefferson:** listen here dumbshit  
 **YourAngel(ica):** ARE JEFFERSON AND HAMILTON UNITING TO ROAST BURR IM-  
 **Hamilfuckyou:** if you're going to date peggy(much to my disapproval) don't be a disrespectful shitdick or i'll scalp you  
 **youjustgotburred:** i deserve more than this  
 **macandjefferson:** ahahhhh you 'deserve' to be laid down on a bed of spikes while weights are tied around your hands and feet  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** this is  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** how you say ??  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** what racists call native americans  
 **YourAngel(ica):** savages?  
 **Zero2Hero:** SAVAGE?  
 **SylvesterRevolution:** OUI! MERCI MON AMOURS  
 **Problematicmyass:** YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I CAN'T MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS  
 **macandjefferson:** you know what, i hope you two are very fucking happy together  
 **youjustgotburred:** omg tommyboy don't be bitter just because peggy wants a real dick instead of a purple strapon  
 **macandjefferson:** say one more god damn thing i dare you  
 **youjustgotburred:** ok  
 **aholeburr:** seriously  
 **macandjefferson:** you deserve better than this fish looking bitch and thats all i have to say bye :))))    
  
 _ **macandjefferson** has left the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 **aholeburr** : i know i deserve better than peggy  
  
 _ **Johnturtle** has added **macandjefferson** to the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**_  
  
 **macandjefferson:** you deserve someone who works from 1am to 5 on the street corner selling 'lemonade'  
 **macandjefferson:** hah, yeah right  
  
 __ **Johnturtle** has removed **macandjefferson** from the chat **The Pubic Weedies - John**  
  
 **SylvesteRevolution:** cornwallis 2.0 i swear to christ 


End file.
